who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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