it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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