Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
