I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
