i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
