Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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