Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
