So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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