I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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