would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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