Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
