there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
