I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
