I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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