I accidentally had phone sex last night
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
