You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
