The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
