I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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