I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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