I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
