Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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