and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
