I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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