i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
