I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
