scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
