Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
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I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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