I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Houston, we have a blender
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
