nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
