I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.