i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think my vagina is haunted
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
