and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.