I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.