Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dignity is for republicans.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize