So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think i have two assholes
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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