Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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