And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
