Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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