Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize