We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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