i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
