If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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