i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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