it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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