I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
