Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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