fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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