I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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