After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
