I hate all girls vehemently.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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