I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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