someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
