I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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