never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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