I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
