I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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