just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
