well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nutella sex= disaster
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
