come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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