Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
