On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
