I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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