In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well I can't set my house on fire every night
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
