Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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