? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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