This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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