I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
