I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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