She went from zero to smokin in five shots
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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