You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
