yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
