the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
