'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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