I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
