whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize